Daily Flow

Social Emotional

My main focus with toddlers and children is their social emotional well-being. A classic opportunity we as caregivers see is when two children want the same toy and neither child has integrated how to navigate the situation for a result that is positive and peaceful and where both children are heard and understood.

Even very young toddlers can form requests and responses in shorter phrases like “Please?” and “Almost (done).”

My enthusiasm for the teachability of the back and forth between young children is high. There is nothing more excruciating to hear and sometimes see as two children fighting over something and their is nothing so delightful to hear as children calmly resolving conflicts.

It isn’t about the toy. It is about what the child or children involved need to hear, repeat, and practice in order to have a dignified and successful early childhood experience in their life which will lead into the confidence for their later adult years.

The fruit of the labor for the caregivers and parents who are guiding a child’s social emotional path is that the child who is on the “receiving end” or wants the item, develops the ability to eventually communicate clear phrases such as, “Can I play with that after you?” “Can we play with that together?” or any other appropriate communication style. For a younger child it would be phrases like “My turn?” or “Me next?”

A child who is on the “giving end” would be guided towards the ability to express themselves with phrases such as “I’m still playing with it but you can use it when I’m done” and “I’ll give it to you next.” For a younger child it would be more like “after me” or “still playing” or “almost.”

Guiding children towards these healthy social emotional tools is dynamic, creative, opportunistic, and is so much more effective when taught and modeled EARLY on as the brain is developing the neuro pathways to which it will want to fall back on. Child bystanders passively hear and quickly pick up the lessons and integrate it into the next time they need to communicate something to someone. The child-group dynamic can quickly become one that is peaceful, and pleasant as children continually have opportunities to practice expressing themselves.

Offering gentle guidance to children who quickly resort to aggressive and/or escalating communication styles gives dignity and the encouragement for them to try improving their communication skills to have a happier relationship with themselves and others.